Well, for the past week or so I’ve been slowing down. The initial flop/crash/surrender felt painful; it always does. Now, my energy levels are still at a low ebb, but that painful point has past as I’m no longer relying on adrenalin, no longer pushing through the day.
I’m still very, very tired. But I feel…calm. I’m a bit slow to respond to things; occasionally (or often) I stop before I’ve reached the end of my sentence. If I can be the listener, rather than the talker, in a conversation, I’m much happier.
I’m weary, but there is a quietness in my soul that wasn’t there before.
I’m aware, as if at the edge of my vision, of things that are coming, that need doing, organising, dealing with. But if I can just inhabit this quietness, continue in this place, I may yet be able to manage them. I may be a little less engaged, a little more drowsy, a little less inclined to perfection (no bad thing), but, hopefully, I’ll get there. And a measure of healing will come, as it has done before.
In the meantime, a couple of links you may be interested in: