a place of calm

Well, for the past week or so I’ve been slowing down. The initial flop/crash/surrender felt painful; it always does.  Now, my energy levels are still at a low ebb, but that painful point has past as I’m no longer relying on adrenalin, no longer pushing through the day.

I’m still very, very tired.  But I feel…calm. I’m a bit slow to respond to things; occasionally  (or often) I stop before I’ve reached the end of my sentence. If I can be the listener, rather than the talker, in a conversation, I’m much happier.

I’m weary, but there is a quietness in my soul that wasn’t there before.

I’m aware, as if at the edge of my vision, of things that are coming, that need doing, organising, dealing with. But if I can just inhabit this quietness, continue in this place, I may yet be able to manage them. I may be a little less engaged, a little more drowsy, a little less inclined to perfection (no bad thing), but, hopefully, I’ll get there. And a measure of healing will come, as it has done before.

In the meantime, a couple of links you may be interested in:

  • Over at the Christian Bookshops Blog, I introduce myself and my book in this Meet the Author post
  • And here’s my entry in the new Christian Writers’ Directory: Lucy Mills
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4 thoughts on “a place of calm

  1. Lucy, I am so happy for the way you’ve achieved a place of quietness and the (to me) seeming swiftness of it settling on your soul. Since Lent began God has been calling me to enter His rest and it has been very challenging indeed. Who knew such an outwardly (forcibly?) still person with M.E could be so inwardly restless?! am hoping and praying I can be more at peace in the days ahead. Reading your account here gives me further hope and encouragement. Thank you. Take your time to savour the slowness! Blessings of health and strength to you. 🙂 Xx

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