the messiness of me … #pauseforAdvent

This is a adapted repost of a blog entry originally written in December 2010. 

I need to tackle the messiness of me.  I mean this on so many levels.  Most of the time it’s highly unintentional and undesired, and although I will readily admit to my own clutteredness, it’s not something I appreciate others pointing out!

Why?  Because I’m not proud of it. Before you leap in to reassure me, I have to tell you that it is not really to do with what other people think.  It is how it makes me feel.  When my space is cluttered, feel cluttered. I don’t actually like it.  It disappoints me, frustrates me. There are those who are untidy and perfectly happy to be so – but in order to be creative, I need space.  And that means being creative on a whole new level.

There are always so many things that do not have a ready ‘home’. They are impossible to categorise. My other problem – and it’s a big one – is that if I don’t see something, I frequently forget I have it. So I try and keep it visible and accessible. And still tidy. When I’m tired, this feels impossible.

This is not just simply objects, but scraps of paper, written ideas. If I scurry them neatly away, I forget about them entirely. And my world does not have enough shelves and walls for all my thoughts, plans and ideas. Drawers need re-organising in order to put things in them, everything has its own domino effect.

I have a messy mind. It turns over and over, the thoughts tumbling through at breakneck speed. If I don’t bottle them and store them, they are easily lost.  For a writer, this is frustrating.

So, I am trying to create space.  Trying to declutter, to make things bright and new.

Part of this is necessarily to do with prioritising – what is really important?  What do I really need to see every day?  What things, if I forget, really don’t matter that much?

In this advent season, when so many of us are consumed by busyness, perhaps it is healthy to have a soul clearout. Let’s not wait till spring. Let’s do it now, preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of our Saviour,  in remembering the past – the incarnation, in living in the present – the Holy Spirit in our hearts and in looking to the future – the glorious reappearing.

These are the important things.  The things I do not want to forget.

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3 thoughts on “the messiness of me … #pauseforAdvent

  1. I haven’t feel the tension between my creativity causing ‘messiness’ and clutter and my need to have a tidy space to work. Advent does seem a good time to attempt to get priorities to right in order to focus on Christ’s coming in the past, present and future.

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