My brain and body took one look at February and shut down.
Or rather, they paddled diligently through the move (October/November), Christmas (December), editing Magnet (which came to a peak in January), various tasks involving the book (which seemed to slot in where the other things weren’t so huge – nice) and then – deep breath, pause…
I’ve come to realise that this is not a bad thing. Assessing the situation, my subconscious seems to have thought — aha! now’s the time to go into ‘sleep mode’. The standby light is blinking, but we’re not showing any images at the moment.
I don’t feel particularly spiritually attuned either, just a bit of static humming…but again, somehow I don’t feel that this is a bad thing. The only sense I get whenever I try to think on God-things or listen to God or seek God – is that it’s okay not to think at the moment. Just relax. Recharge. Rest is in order…just have a bit of downtime in between the everyday essentials. Stop worrying about feeling tired. Let it have its say for a while, and regenerate.
Can’t write much either. Have no urge, no inspiration. And that’s okay too. Everything’s on recharge. I need a moment of pause.
Call it holy hibernation. Or just a bit of downtime. I’m pottering around catching up on the things that got shunted to one side in the uber-busy patches. But if I need to stop and lie down, or I struggle to wake up in the mornings, that’s okay.
Because I’ve given myself permission, it feels a voluntary exercise rather than compulsory limitation.
Rest, little one. It’s okay.
When you need to, you’ll wake up.