the messiness of me #repost

This is a repost of a blog entry originally written in December 2010. I thought it worth revisiting!

One thing I’ve been trying to tackle these past few days of advent is the general messiness of me.  I mean this on so many levels.  Most of the time it’s highly unintentional and undesired, and although I will readily admit to my own clutteredness, it’s not something I appreciate others pointing out!

Why?  Because I’m not proud of it. Before you leap in to reassure me, I have to tell you that it is not really to do with what other people think.  It is how it makes me feel.  When my space is cluttered, feel cluttered. I don’t actually like it.  It disappoints me, frustrates me. There are those who are untidy and perfectly happy to be so – but in order to be creative, I need space.  And that means being creative on a whole new level.

There are always so many things that do not have a ready ‘home’. They are impossible to categorise. My other problem – and it’s a big one – is that if I don’t see something, I frequently forget I have it. So I try and keep it visible and accessible. And still tidy. When I’m tired, this feels impossible.

This is not just simply objects, but scraps of paper, written ideas. If I scurry them neatly away, I forget about them entirely. And my world does not have enough shelves and walls for all my thoughts, plans and ideas. Drawers need re-organising in order to put things in them, everything has its own domino effect.

I have a messy mind. It turns over and over, the thoughts tumbling through at breakneck speed. If I don’t bottle them and store them, they are easily lost.  For a writer, this is frustrating.

So, I am trying to create space. One room at a time. Trying to declutter, to make things bright and new.

Part of this is necessarily to do with prioritising – what is really important?  What do I really need to see every day?  What things, if I forget, really don’t matter that much?

In this advent season, when so many of us are consumed by busyness, perhaps it is healthy to have a soul clearout. Let’s not wait till spring. Let’s do it now, preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of our Saviour,  in remembering thepast – the incarnation, in living in the present – the Holy Spirit in our hearts and in looking to the future – the glorious reappearing.

These are the important things.  The things I do not want to forget.

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3 thoughts on “the messiness of me #repost

  1. I am the same. If there’s clutter about, I can’t concentrate and have to clear up. The environment around me means everything. (Have just noticed the snowflakes on your blog. Or is it my computer screen going wrong?!)

  2. So much relate to this! Some things do get put awry neatly in files (many don’t!)but it is then necessary to sit down with those files from time to time like old fashioned photo albums. It gets more tricky when I’ve had ‘organised’ moments and typed the scribbled bits of paper into an ideas file on the computer. When do those ever get looked at?

  3. A great post, Lucy, and a new read for me as I hadn’t had the pleasure of discovering you in 2010. Can relate well to the need for order and dismay at living more messily than I want to due to the limitations of chronic health problems. Somehow external order helps us feel calmer if we thrive on being organised.
    I love the way you close with the priorities we need to make time for above everything else. So true and so fitting in this Advent season. Thanks, Lucy. May you be blessed with His peace even if life is more chaotic than orderly! 🙂

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