One thing I’ve been trying to tackle these past few days of advent is the general messiness of me. I mean this on so many levels. Most of the time it’s highly unintentional and undesired, and although I will readily admit to my own clutteredness, it’s not something I appreciate others pointing out!
Why? Because I’m not proud of it. Before you leap in to reassure me, I have to tell you that it is not really to do with what other people think. It is how it makes me feel. When my space is cluttered, I feel cluttered. I don’t actually like it. It disappoints me, frustrates me. There are those who are untidy and perfectly happy to be so – but in order to be creative, I need space. And that means being creative on a whole new level.
There are always so many things that do not have a ready ‘home’. They are impossible to categorise. My other problem – and it’s a big one – is that if I don’t see something, I frequently forget I have it. So I try and keep it visible and accessible. And still tidy. When I’m tired, this feels impossible.
This is not just simply objects, but scraps of paper, written ideas. If I scurry them neatly away, I forget about them entirely. And my world does not have enough shelves and walls for all my thoughts, plans and ideas. Drawers need re-organising in order to put things in them, everything has its own domino effect.
I have a messy mind. It turns over and over, the thoughts tumbling through at breakneck speed. If I don’t bottle them and store them, they are easily lost. For a writer, this is frustrating.
So, I am trying to create space. One room at a time. Trying to declutter, to make things bright and new. Even with my blog – wanting something cleaner, fresher, less busy in style (hope you like it, by the way!)
Part of this is necessarily to do with prioritising – what is really important? What do I really need to see every day? What things, if I forget, really don’t matter that much?
In this advent season, when so many of us are consumed by busyness, perhaps it is healthy to have a soul clearout. Let’s not wait till spring. Let’s do it now, preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of our Saviour, in remembering the past – the incarnation, in living in the present – the Holy Spirit in our hearts and in looking to the future – the glorious reappearing.
These are the important things. The things I do not want to forget.