Over the past couple of days I’ve been doing research into issues regarding the Trinity, in response to a booklet I’ve been given. The last weeks have been studying the bible and gaining a greater understanding of my own beliefs and why I believe them; these last couple of days I’ve been going back to early Christian writings to get a sense of what the earliest ‘Church fathers’ thought.
In this focus, other topics have been temporarily shunted to the side; I’ve not done much writing or work on anything else. Momentarily, yesterday, this caused some anxiety – but then I decided that looking into the ‘deep things of God’ can never be a waste of time. I know that many of my friends would love more time to study and struggle to find the time – having the time they long for can make me feel over-privileged in this regard.
Of course, the irony is that the reason I have the time is because of my limitations, my circumstances, my health. Frequently when my head starts spinning and I need to collapse I express pure frustration that I do not have more energy – but of course, if I had more energy I’d probably be out somewhere else, spending that energy elsewhere. I remind myself that God uses our weaknesses, and that he can bring beauty from ashes, and turn problems into privileges.
For those of us who suffer from a poverty of health and of energy, knowing that there are still riches to be found, treasures to be unearthed, is hugely encouraging.
We work within our limits; we discover a limitless God.