I’m not a fan of shopping. I would never be one of those who listed ‘shopping’ as a hobby. I find it incredibly wearying, to tell the truth. There are exceptions, but in general I find it quite frustrating, particularly clothes shopping – so often it’s impossible to find what you want (though you saw plenty of it when you couldn’t justify spending money on it). And trying things on – I get horribly hot and flustered in fitting rooms, especially when tired out and disillusioned and wishing I’d never bothered.
Did, a couple of days ago, randomly try something on and eventually buy it – but I rarely feel confident enough to buy by myself, so this was accompanied by much gesturing and mouthing words to Andy, me from the fitting room and he trying to signal back from the shop.
If it’s reasonably quiet, and you find what you want, you stop for a quiet cuppa, go to a cathedral, or the place has a nice atmosphere, I can enjoy myself. It’s the environment, I suppose. But I find hoards of people overwhelming, and I know this is part of the ‘sensory overload’ I get with the Chronic Fatigue, but put me in a shopping mall at a busy time and you’ll see my eyes take on a wild, staring look.
My least favourite kind of shopping? Shoe shopping, or anything that involves a shop assistant looming over you while you try it out. My self-consciousness runs riot and I want to scream ‘leave me alone!!! Arrrgh!!’
But I don’t. Thankfully for the person doing the looming, who is, after all simply doing their job.
It wouldn’t be so bad if there were no other shoppers, but that seems rather uncharitable of me…
It’s not that I don’t like getting nice clothes – it’s nice to have something to wear which feels special – but frankly I’d rather be sitting looking over peaceful countryside or a stormy sea or a flowing river than going from shop to shop getting irritable. (And all the people!! They are all coming towards me at once – help!) And getting tangled up in the fitting rooms. This went on over my head- how come it doesn’t come off?
Admittedly, the tiredness has a lot to answer for. I simply run out of steam before I start. I might feel a little differently if I was bouncing with energy. Excuse me while I pause wistfully…
Had better terminate this entry before I waffle myself to death. Am generalising, which is something I don’t like doing at all. Which is probably a generalisation.
Okay, stop talking.
I mean it.
Today: 4/10, medium