did I accidentally hoover up my dreams?

Snurg.

It’s been a bit of an odd day today.  We returned from my parents yesterday evening, so I spent most of the first part of the morning clearing the house of Christmas. Tree down, decorations packed, pushing the vacuum cleaner around…

Of course, this took most of my day’s energy (those familiar with the ‘spoon theory‘ will understand when I say I used up all my spoons). Then I was left with a general feeling of frustration at a) not being able to get to do any of my other tasks and b) not even managing to complete the first task to my satisfaction – ie the dining room/spare room/bathroom/most other places still need some work.  I had a brief resuscitation over dinner, but then expended my extra spoons doing the washing up. I’ll say it again: snurg.

For the odd moment, I felt a wave of despair over the contrast of my New Year dreaming and the reality of the day to day chores that so often take the best of me.  This is a downside of New Year measurements, of course, where we decide that at this point we will mark the twelve monthly cycle of the year, and set ourselves up for a ‘new start’.

Feels so exciting and inspiring until you hit normality with a thump.  I have to remind myself that today is only one day, and 2013 is not taking place in the space of 24 hours.  There are other mornings.  I can only hope some of them can be spent chasing dreams – and not hoovering them up like dust.

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6 thoughts on “did I accidentally hoover up my dreams?

  1. Jane Chelliah January 7, 2013 / 8:33 pm

    It is a shame that Christmas comes with the baggage of housework which includes endless cleaning etc. Your last line about chasing dreams is particularly poignant and will strike a chord with many. I wish you many, many spoons.

    • Lucy Mills January 9, 2013 / 6:09 pm

      Thank you Jane. Love that phrase!

  2. Joy Lenton January 9, 2013 / 3:35 pm

    I can relate to this, Lucy. Poor you! It must have felt like coming down to earth with a bump. Our dreams, goals, plans and ambitions are certainly heightened by the advent of a new year and how pregnant with promise and potential it seems. We tend to forget how the cusp is here but the fullness is yet to be revealed. I hope and pray you will recover quickly from this setback. Please be gentle and patient with yourself as you await a fresh supply of ‘spoons’. God often does His best work with us in the seemingly fallow times. I look forward to seeing you on form again soon! God bless. :)

    • Lucy Mills January 9, 2013 / 6:09 pm

      You too Joy. Thank you so much for your kindness.

  3. summerteifi January 12, 2013 / 4:09 am

    I loved the title of this so much! And I really get it. Only recently did I realise that I literally HAD hoovered up my dreams, except my Hoover took the form of severe anxiety. My entire life had been set for simply the utmost worst case scenario I could imagine, and with me on the front line. When I realised this, it broke my heart. But it also made me realise how important dreams are in life – for your heart mind and soul. Now I’m having a big wave of chronic fatigue, I am finding it hard to not be back in that fearful worst case scenario setting, and dropping any dream I had/have because I wonder and worry whether I’ll ever be able to do them. But what I’ve realised, and what I am trying to trust, is that our dreams are there to inspire. Even if they don’t end up what we do and we do something equally as cool, dreaming inspires and let’s our heart sing – which is what we so often need in moments of sorrow or isolation or worry. I also am seeing its okay to trust that our dreams will, and can, cater to and alter for where we are physically and emotionally in that moment, if that makes sense. This is something that is new to me, but I see feels so crucial when feeling so ill and worried that you can’t LIVE a life like this. You can, you are and you will. Big love! X

    • Lucy Mills January 14, 2013 / 12:57 pm

      Thank you! Your words are encouraging.

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